• Quietly sliding down into unconsciousness with your back against a wall outdoors while standing right next to a guy you had a mini-crush on in high school and who’s been giving you the look all evening or

• Any other method of passing out/fainting?

I hope it’s the second one but I’ve been thinking about this and face-palming all day so what do you guys think?

I mean, this is why I don’t go out very often.

I just want to know that I didn’t make a complete ass of myself. Like on a scale of 1-10, how bad is that?

I was too far too get pictures… but not too far to experience the far-reaching power of his hip gyrations.

He wore a sequined suit.

He likes handcuffs.

And he lives within 11 blocks of my house.

Unf.

“You know why I love this city? You can let your freak flag fly.”

Or as my friend Ellen heard it: “You can let your free crack flag fly”

Yes you can, Mr. Isaak. Yes you can.

Anyone else as excited as I am? No? Fine. I went by myself last year and I guess I’ll go solo again. And just to give you an idea of who I’m fairly stoked to see…

• Chris Isaak (!!!)
• Kris Kristofferson
  
• Hugh Laurie
• Buckethead (!!)
  
• DeVotchKa
• The Devil Makes Three

And so much mooooorrree

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I need to get more exercise.

On a related note, would anyone want to buy me a baseball mitt? I really want one now.

Anyone?

Not only did I get my Patton fix (and how), but I also got to meet some KICKASS dudes.

First, a rando named Justin who I at first thought was creeping like a creeper but he actually turned out to be super sweet. Then, another lone girl from LA who I completely forgot the name of because it was complicated. She was covered in sparkles and awesomeness. And after that, I met BILLY FUCKING GOULD outside and we had a pleasant chat. Ridiculously friendly. Then, TREY FUCKING SPRUANCE came out and had this crazy long musical theory/philosophy conversation with Justin. Ridiculously intelligent, the epitome of cool, and absurdly nice.

Then Mike Patton appeared.

Swoon.

I’m so thrilled I don’t think I can even finish this post.

ME. THAT’S WHO.

MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAS

So, I’m super stoked, if you can’t already tell.

Tyler: Wait, wait… which ones are penguins? Are they the pink ones?

Me: No… those are flamingos.

Tyler: Oh. Okay no, no I then I mean… wait. Which ones are penguins?

Me: The flightless black and white ones.

Tyler: Ohhhh. Okay, no then. Seagulls.

“Hey! Okay, okay. Lemme tell you something. Lemme tell you something. Lemme tell you something. Lemme tell you something. Humex? Humex? Humex. Humex? It’s the drink of champions. It’s a drink of champions. It’s a drink of champions.
And Blue Moon? Blue Moon? Blue Moon? Blue Moon. It’s the way to be. It’s the way to be.
And, pfft. Smoking Loon. Smoking Loon? Smoking Loon? You came too soon. You came too. Soon.
But this weed in this box is foxy.

… I’m not digging for compliments at all, but I’m actually retarded.”

lawls

NYC is a shitshow.

In the best of ways.